Life is hard.
Life is hard. And beautiful. And messy. And everything in between.
I have a little one starting Kindergarten this year and it has been a bit rocky. It has also forced me to look at my own tendency to want to protect those I care about from feeling hard things. I see this come up often within some of the women I work with as well and I will never forget the words of my supervisor who once told me: "It is not our job to protect our clients from suffering, but to help show them how to suffer well."
This statement has stuck with me and has become an important foundation to the work that I do. If we do not have the tools to navigate difficult situations or the capacity to tolerate uncomfortable things, then life can get pretty hard pretty quickly and we are not left with much to take care of ourselves.
Here are some ways as we head into a busy holiday season to shore up a strong foundation for yourself:
Notice when your own response or reaction to something seems intense or maybe disproportionate to what is happening. This will tell us if we are at capacity and/or if we are dysregulated.
Try adding a daily supportive somatic practice to something you are already doing:
Try gargling water after brushing your teeth. The vibration from gargling will tone your vagus nerve (strengthen ability to regulate) and activate parasympathetic state (rest and digest state).
While sitting at your desk, take a moment and bring your right ear to right shoulder and then your gaze to the right. Hold for a moment. Slowly come back to center and do the same on the left side. This engages your peripheral vision (which often narrows when dysregulated) and activates the parasympathetic state (rest and digest state).
Turn on some music while cooking dinner and have a dance party with yourself, your partner or your kids. Shaking, jumping and moving your body in this way helps to release stored tension and any sympathetic activation from the day. Notice how your mood and body may feel lighter after doing this.
When we add these small steps to daily life it helps increase our distress tolerance and ability to bounce back from dysregulating situations.
Life is hard, but it does not have to knock you down all the time.